Poem about betrayal by Koon Woon

Self-betrayal I am terribly pained by my betrayal of myself, because China is my eternal mother, and because I am ashamed of myself to read the Tao Te Ching in English translation, especially American English. I have forgotten the land of the Panda and bamboo. The gulf of then and now is caused by the rushing waters in a land of barbarians. Yet their vices have intoxicated me forever. I betrayed my grandmother, the mother of my mother, and the earth itself and my intrinsic rigidly-designated self. Now I have no pity for the innocents who perish from injustices. I now want money, your money, because money is the ability to do ten-thousand things, most of which are evil. I am now a rock and I tingle like a jade earing and clatter like a stone chime.