Lenovo (new) file:

Lenovo (new) [bof August 31, 2025]: V is now sleeping 2/3 of the hours, and I fear soon she will be doing it 3/3. She cannot recall words not remember much of what she did and she sometimes get daytime and night mixed. She’s been a challenge of my goodness and I find myself petty. I have an anger issue. This is a spiritual matter. I have dealt with physical, mental, and emotional problems, but this is a bit more deeper. It is a test of who I think I am. Am I as helpful as I think I am? What is the limit of my sacrifice? Sad indeed is the slow descent she is in. Once she guided my life, and now I guide her to the commode. I dealt with a superior human being but now it is merely an opaque being qua being. At the substrate things are uncompromising and independent of our capricious description of them. They have an object level logic and existence. Wishing them otherwise is a counterfactual not found in any possible world I have access to, and I will not matter to inert matter. A loss of sorts I am sure, but it is also a gain. Now I respect the universe more. My ideas and descriptions of it are subject to its own definition. I bow to fixedness. I bow to reality. It cannot be modified by language alone. You have been in the mud but now you see it from a lofty height, it reminds you of the flowers in the valley. But they are beginning to wilt. You try to prolong this game hoping it be humanly possible to make it last like the silence after an early morning bird song. The forest is full of such. You will someday see it with all its hidden population.