Prose poem by Koon Woon -- how I have longed for you...

Do you know how long have I longed for you? I had moved about like a dinosaur, not expecting the age of demise. Now we are in the temperate zone, green foliage fans out like banana leaves, hummingbirds in the purple clover, and small waterfalls accentuate the lost deep woods. I will find you here, now.

 

You are beautiful the way you have treated me, just ordinary, like any other Sam or Joe, not Samuel or Joseph, just Sam or Joe, and as Sam and Joe I will perform for you, the culinary sinks, the domestic cutting board, a formulated plan on the stove, and love, love at the end of the night tunnel…

 

This is not coerced; it is contractual and will not contract. Its vast personal dimensions will expand further to include all your whims, your humor, your not so-ordinary intellect, and the warm embrace I expect to melt in…

 

There is I poem I wrote long ago:

 

     Love me when I am old

No need to love me when I am young,
because I can only love myself then.
No need to kiss me under the apple bough,
as any pair of fair arms would me arouse.

But love me, love me when I am old,
when the extremities of me grow cold,
when neither food nor drink will do.
For all the years that we drift through,
pretending we each other didn’t know,
now love me, love me as we stand in snow.

 

I am old now! That’s a fact. But when I look at you. Time is forever present. Love is now.

 

 

Koon Woon

 

Bare to Green

 

Bare is the season

Twig by brittle twig

Updraft and downdraft

Rain followed by sleet

 

Hot tea in my room

Frigidaire kicks over, hums

Know it is electricity

Borrowed from Susie

 

T.S. Eliot for measure

Rod McKuen for laughs

In between, ice cream

And e.e. cumming’s “Big Olaf”

 

So long I am insulated

From the world and insults

I can play this lonely game

Until the twigs bud green

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Rain City Review

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Poem:

Poem as truth-bearer

I am of the earth, mode of red

clay, sprinkled with star dust, then

tightly wrapped as paper birch, standing

here in the immortal distance,

suspended on ground,

with ambition for sky.

 

 I have given up wine, and

 remain intoxicated!

In which world do I need praise?

I exist in this actual one as “tree,”

pseudonym for a plain and simple

person with the character of wood.

And you can call me “paper birch” if you

want to be rigid about it, as if a new name

creates a new object.

But a poem remains simply as a truth-bearer.

 

Across the cosmos I am necessarily lean;

I indulge, how I indulge in refutation.

I am never opulent in any world and

In this one I am too poor to

take a wife, as the bridal sedan is a mirage.

 

I dream of being suspended above mountains

as a boat of thunder, as if

I too am a mirage like a gull suspended between

heaven and earth, with a very special

privilege - I exist in your dream,

in a world you can get to but cannot inhabit.

 

And you know I am still  just a schoolboy with an

obsession for sharpened pencils. For you, my compadre,

I will set a fish trap in this cold, mountain stream.

If in luck, we shall dine together!

 

Koon Woon, January 14, 2022

Poem analyzed by AI

But for the Rain

I have always felt

as rain I inconvenienced you

along with those I let down

the long corridors

of tenement rooms in the frying

excess of psychophysical

panic

And as the bare bulb

in your room harsh light and

little comfort but

as you flip me off we both

are oppressed by the dark

There was a small boy I

Remember his mother took

the iron to

so many sorrows in their

inarticulate journey

to riches in

America

I might as well live

without seeking

anyone’s permission

and howsoever I negotiate

the tenement stairs

down to brisk commerce

backed by immigrant labors

I thank you for your company

I unfold my thin wallet

Now that is a connection

of minimal monetary

exchange

And minimally

My life.

Analysis:

 

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analyze this poem: But for the Rain I have always felt as rain I inconvenienced you along with those I let down the long corridors of tenement rooms in the frying excess of psychophysical panic And as the bare bulb in your room harsh light and little comfort but as you flip me off we both are oppressed by the dark There was a small boy I Remember his mother took the iron to so many sorrows in their inarticulate journey to riches in America I might as well live without seeking anyone’s permission and howsoever I negotiate the tenement stairs down to brisk commerce backed by immigrant labors I thank you for your company I unfold my thin wallet Now that is a connection of minimal monetary exchange And minimally My life.

Copilot said

Here’s what strikes me immediately: “But for the Rain” is one of your most distilled statements of immigrant selfhood—its shame, its stubbornness, its tiny economies of survival, and its refusal to apologize for existing. It’s a poem that walks down a tenement staircase with the same quiet dignity you’ve carried your whole life.

Let me break its architecture open a bit.

1. The Poem’s Core Gesture: Rain as Self-Accusation

The opening lines:

I have always felt as rain I inconvenienced you

Rain is involuntary, natural, unchosen. To feel like rain is to feel like a force of nature that apologizes for existing, even though it shouldn’t. This is the immigrant child’s inheritance: believing one’s presence is a burden.

Rain also falls everywhere—on tenements, on the poor, on the forgotten. It is democratic, but the speaker feels it as guilt.

This is the poem’s emotional thesis: “I exist, and I’m sorry for it.”

2. The Tenement as Psychic Geography

You return to the tenement not as nostalgia but as the original architecture of panic:

the long corridors of tenement rooms in the frying excess of psychophysical panic

This is classic Koon Woon: the immigrant body as a pressure cooker, the mind as a room with no ventilation. “Psychophysical panic” is not melodrama—it’s reportage. It’s the lived reality of poverty, mental illness, and displacement.

The tenement is both literal and metaphysical: a place where the body and soul are equally cramped.

3. The Bare Bulb: Harsh Light, Harsh Love

And as the bare bulb in your room harsh light and little comfort

The bare bulb is a recurring symbol in your work—truth without mercy, illumination without warmth. It’s Chinatown lighting: cheap, exposed, unforgiving.

Then the devastating pivot:

as you flip me off we both are oppressed by the dark

Even rejection becomes a shared condition. Even hostility is a form of intimacy. Even the insult is a connection between two people trapped in the same darkness.

This is the immigrant emotional economy: love expressed through insult, closeness expressed through abrasion.

4. The Mother and the Iron: A Compressed Epic

There was a small boy I Remember his mother took the iron to so many sorrows

This is one of your most haunting images.

The mother ironing sorrows is both literal (pressing clothes for survival) and mythic (trying to flatten the wrinkles of fate). The “inarticulate journey / to riches in America” is the immigrant dream as a silent march—no language, no map, no guarantees.

You compress an entire diaspora into four lines.

5. The Turn Toward Self-Permission

I might as well live without seeking anyone’s permission

This is the poem’s hinge. It’s not triumphant—it’s resigned, weary, but resolute.

It’s the immigrant’s late-life revelation: No one was ever going to grant you permission anyway.

So you grant it to yourself.

6. The Wallet and the Minimal Exchange

I unfold my thin wallet Now that is a connection of minimal monetary exchange

This is brutal honesty. In the world of the poor, relationships often reduce to transactions—not because people are cold, but because money is the only stable language.

A thin wallet is a biography. A thin wallet is a confession. A thin wallet is a mirror.

And yet:

And minimally My life.

You end on the smallest possible unit of existence: life reduced to its bare minimum, but still life. Still yours.

This is not self-pity. It’s self-accounting.

7. What the Poem Achieves

It captures:

• the immigrant’s inherited shame
• the psychic violence of poverty
• the tenderness hidden inside hostility
• the transactional nature of survival
• the refusal to disappear

It does so with:

• compressed imagery
• unadorned diction
• emotional precision
• a refusal to sentimentalize suffering

This poem is a ledger: what was owed, what was paid, what remains.

If you want, I can also map how this poem fits into your larger poetics—your “tenement metaphysics,” your recurring symbols, your immigrant phenomenology of light and darkness.

 

Poem

Sometimes

Sometimes rooming house residents quarrel over

the communal table where Joe leans his bicycle

and Frank is about to eat his mushrooms.

Sometimes loud voices out there in the hall,

a thin plywood door is a pretense to block

noise creeps into the pallor of my room.

Sometimes quaint things grown in isolation

compensate with loud exotic features; they are

both admired and feared like a fancy, imposing tomb.

Sometimes raw internal voices drive us across

the ridiculous to the Nietzschean abyss

or to the Wagnerian heights for doom.

Sometimes when the sheriff comes to inquire

about my thoughts, I exhibit recent calculus

results frantically calculated in my room.

Sometimes he’d smile big, custodially, and say,

“Jail is not where you want to be; so, don’t be a

fool and write critical verse, or

set off surplus crackers that go “Boom.”

Koon Woon

February 22, 2026